A look back

So, yesterday I was looking at a book that Chris made for me. It actually was the way he proposed to me. He said that it was a book for parents. It was going to be our (mostly His) present to them when he was going to first meet then Christmas 2006. So he asked me to write somethings and he wrote somethings. He would not let me see the book until it was finished. Then the night before I was planned to fly to Ohio he asked me if I wanted to see the book. I, of course, was so excited and so we sat and read the words we had both wrote. There were three sections:

1. Worsts

2. First Impressions

3. First Dates

Surprise Section ~ 4. Forever



Here is the First Section: Worsts



He Said

I have only had three relationships previously in my life, two of which were not necessarily bad relationships. They were just not the right relationships. Each of these relationships did teach me something however. Each of the women I dated was very focused on their goals and their lives and where they were headed and what they personally wanted. That is a good thing. What they did not focus on was the relationship they were in. They either didn’t care where the relationship went or were convinced that it wasn’t ultimately going to work so why put any sincere effort into making it work. Every person in a relationship should feel that the person they are with is as committed to them as they are to that person. I did not have that with these women. That being the case, I realized how important that is in a relationship and how much I wanted that in my relationship. I have that with Alexis. I knew from our first date that if this relationship progressed that she was going to be completely committed to me, as much as I would be to her. She is one of the most devoted people I know.


My most significant relationship prior to Alexis was my previous marriage. Because of what I went through I have a greater feeling of respect and compassion for those who are going through or have been through a divorce. Even in the most amicable of circumstances, it is a painful experience. I often asked myself, why would the Lord have me go through this experience if He knew it would only end badly. I knew the answer. If I hadn’t been through that experience, I don’t know if I would love and appreciate Alexis as much as I do. One thing in particular that I love so much about Alexis is her commitment to the Gospel. She has a strong desire to continually grow and progress, through study of the scriptures, temple and church attendance, prayer and fasting, all the things that the Lord asks of us so that we might feel His Spirit and grow closer to Him. Not only does she want to do these things for herself, but she wants to do them with me so we can grow and progress together. She truly understands the purpose of God’s plan for us and the place families hold in that plan. I share this desire with her. This mutual desire is a key to success in a marriage and is the one thing I desire most for the relationship I am in. I am eternally grateful for her and this desire.

She Said

I have dated some real “Winners”. I went on a date and the guy didn’t open the car door for me and even made a comment about how he thought it was stupid that he, as the guy, had to do all the work! Like it is truly work to be a gentlemen! Anyway, at the end of our date, which ended really late because of a movie, when he dropped me off he reached across me and opened the door so I could get out. It was like 1 or 2 in the morning and after I got out he drove off. He didn’t even wait to see if I got into my apt. safety. So, I really appreciate the fact that Chris wants to take care of me. He opens doors for me, from car doors to stores; I can imagine him opening doors for me when we are walking around with canes. Instead of just dropping me off at my front door as that guy did, he insists on walking me to the front door. This requires him to find a parking spot on my street, which can be nearly impossible. But he will drive around until he finds a spot and will walk me to the door. I appreciate the fact that Christopher communicates.


The relationship I was in right before Chris was lacking in communication. It is hard when you feel like you can’t talk to the person you are dating about something because you feel they don’t want to talk to you. I appreciate the fact that when I have something to say, he listens. He doesn’t always right away jump in to “fix” the problem. He also doesn’t tune me out. Christopher has said that he likes to hear me talk, which is interesting. He is an amazing communicator and so I feel free to share my feelings and thoughts. He gives me the freedom to express myself, without ridicule or embarrassment. Which I love! I appreciate that I know where I stand with Christopher. I don’t have these thoughts of “Does he love me today”? He is constantly telling me he cares about me. I don’t have to guess at what he is feeling because he tells me. I appreciate the way he looks at me. Now, it usually makes me blush and slightly uncomfortable but only because I am not used to the way he looks at me. When Christopher looks at me, it is like I am the only one in the room and the only object that can keep his attention. When he looks at me I feel beautiful, even when I have just finished working out and I don’t necessarily feel pretty. When he looks at me, it feels like he sees exactly who I am and the facade that I have on. He is starting to read me very well, which honestly only family can do, and it kind of freaks me out. But I appreciate how in tune he is.